


the secrets we hold in these gloved hands

by olliebabe (tennebee)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arranged Marriage, F/F, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:14:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24708925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tennebee/pseuds/olliebabe
Summary: Two men stood in front of an altar, and as they exchanged their vows their gloved hands never truly touched.--After the powerful kingdom of Shiratorizawa declared war, two divided kingdoms must ally together once again. Prince Sugawara Koushi will make the necessary sacrifices for the sake of his people. King Sawamura Daichi won't let his kingdom fall once again.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka
Comments: 16
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so happy to have this chapter out. I have been working on this fic for a very long time and while it may seem like there isn't much to show about it, I promise there is so much more in store for this. A huge HUGE shoutout to my two very close friends Jamo( [Twitter](https://twitter.com/marmaladerolle?s=20) ) and Anqi ( [Twitter](https://twitter.com/appllelle?s=20) ) for hyping up this au for the past month! It would not have gotten done without them listening to my endless rambles and, course, beta'ing the fic for me. 
> 
> Some art they've done!  
> [Jamo's art](https://twitter.com/marmaladerolle/status/1259100122832449538?s=20<br%20/>)

Sugawara Koushi remembered being read stories of princesses falling in love with handsome princes from other kingdoms by his parents. How he would fight for her, protect her, and in the very end, they would get married and live happily ever after. These books had him and his sister blushing in their vast library when they were old enough to read on their own, imagining the day that it might happen to either of them. Koushi did not doubt in his mind that someday Yachi, his sister, would be swept off her feet by the person of her dreams. 

And then she did. 

They had gotten engaged in the castle garden in the spring. Something straight from the books that had made them so giddy as children. She deserved this. 

The knight went by the name of Kiyoko Shimizu and was born from a noble family that had been very well acquainted with the Sugawara’s for generations and were entrusted to protect the royal family with their life. There was no better news they could have given their families. 

Koushi hoped that one day that might be him. No one in his kingdom seemed to grab his attention, especially the noble daughters who often tried to flirt with him and compete with each other for his attention. Why wouldn't they though? Marrying the handsome prince, one of the many prides of North Karasuno, was a feat any girl would fight for. Maybe one would catch his eye… or maybe a handsome prince from another kingdom would fight for his hand in marriage. 

  
  


Those dreams had been crushed when he had heard the queens whispering to themselves after they had gotten a surprise visitor from another kingdom earlier that day. All he had been told before being sent away from the room was that the man was a diplomat and had a proposition that would help them in the war that was drawing unsettlingly close to breaking out. 

Sugawara made note of his unusual green hair and freckled face. He looked young for being in such an important position. Maybe that was the point of being a diplomat though. 

He found out he had come to propose his king's request for an arranged marriage. One between two kingdoms that had long since been divided. Hundreds of years ago war had broken out between them, all because power-hungry rulers didn’t want anyone but high nobility to be able to use magic. After a long and tiring war, the two kingdoms were divided.

And now they wanted to ally together and combine their forces. Sugawara knew exactly what had been coming, as the eldest son who had not yet found a suitor. He wouldn't get his prince charming, his fate was already chosen for him. More people than he could count on both his hands knew more about his marriage than he did. 

Koushi was not against allying with more kingdoms; finding themselves at war with Shiratorizawa had dragged their army through hell. So many of their innocent people had been slaughtered, but surrendering would mean letting go of everything his parents had worked hard to make possible in the kingdom. 

But then again, uniting North and South Karasuno just meant his ancestors would have fought for nothing. He just hoped the new King had a good head on his shoulders or was at least willing to listen when it came to politics. 

The man he would marry was around his age, only younger by a few months or so. He was a king whose family had been slaughtered by the ruthless kingdom of Shiratorizawa and had been crowned at only eighteen. Due to this, their defenses had been weakened significantly. Apparently, under his parents’ rule, the kingdom had stayed to themselves and not allied with many others. Koushi wasn't stupid, he knew their kingdom had been chosen wisely. They had children to marry off, they were at war with Shiratorizawa, and they were allied with many powerful kingdoms and families. 

It had been no surprise when he had been told of the news. It didn't mean that it hurt any less. Despite agreeing with the decision, this was the last thing Koushi wanted. If his parents believed this would help them through the war then he would do anything he could to guarantee their success. This was his home, and he cared about all of his people so deeply. 

\--

The sound of sobs filled Koushi’s room on the night before the wedding, but they weren't his own though. Buried in his chest were two heads that belonged to his siblings. Naturally, they were openly opposed to this marriage and rightfully so. Koushi did not love the King- he didn't even know him. Sugawara Koushi was twenty years old, no longer the crown prince of North Karasuno, and being married off for political convenience. 

It felt like only days ago he had been training to take on the throne of the very kingdom he had grown up in. 

His younger sister Yachi would be forced to take on the role of the crown princess. She would be forced to learn all the things he had been trained for since he could speak, all at once, and he wouldn't even be here to help and guide her. Oh, he was such a big brother that even when he was being married off to a stranger he was still all too worried about his sister.

“Hey… don't worry about me okay? I'll be fine, I'm more worried about you,” he pulled her tear-streaked face up from his chest and began wiping at them. As her older brother, it pained him more than he could express to see her so upset because of him, especially since he couldn't stop what was happening. This was out of his hands now. 

Fate was cruel. 

  
  


The second head belonged to his youngest brother but he was crying for other reasons that he wasn't too sure of. Koushi would not be leaving him. Hinata was old enough now that all his training had paid off. He would help escort Koushi to make sure he was settled in. Since they were getting married for political reasons it would be efficient to have another prince there that would represent their kingdom. 

Though… Koushi doubted he would act like a prince. The young man had his way of getting Kageyama to help him do whatever he wanted. Shouyou was full of surprises, and that's what had brought so much joy to their kingdom... or maybe that was just his older brother's instincts talking. He had such a soft spot for his two siblings and would do anything for either of them. 

He glanced down at Yachi. Even if it meant they would cry, he hoped that they understood he was doing what was best for both of them. The thought of either one of them getting married to a stranger was sickening, anything could happen and he would be helpless. That was something an older brother couldn't allow. When he looked at them, Koushi still saw rosy-cheeked toddlers, tumbling around the long halls, following him like lost puppies. In those moments as he proudly led them around, declaring he was the king. Sugawara Koushi felt like he was unbeatable. 

He needed some time alone. 

“You two should go to bed, we have a big day tomorrow. Especially you Shouyou, if you oversleep then I’ll have no choice but to leave without you.” Koushi pinched at his cheeks. 

“Koushiiii!” he whined, pulling away and dramatically falling to the ground with a loud huff. “If you leave without me I’ll just go by horse and catch up with you!” Shouyou declared, his legs kicking at the air. He was the most informal prince Koushi had ever met. 

Yachi frowned and turned to Shouyou, “How are you going to do that? Didn’t you fail your horse riding lessons last week?” Her voice was small, expecting the outburst that would most definitely follow. 

“Yachi! You promised you wouldn't bring it up!” Their tears were long forgotten as the two of them bickered. Koushi would probably miss the comfort of being able to bicker so easily with the people he was closest too. Now he would most definitely be subjected to a boring life as the trophy husband of some king. 

Koushi had trained his entire life to be a leader, and for what? 

“Kageyama will take me!”

“Yes, your  _ boyfriend _ can't tell you no, huh?”

“What? No! He's my knight, he just has to listen to me!”

“Aw, you're blushing!.”

He smiled sadly at his siblings, sitting up more firmly and clearing his throat. “Okay, okay that’s  _ enough _ , it's bedtime. Yachi you have to get up and see me off or I won’t ever forgive you.” 

Nodding she scrambled to her feet. Suga took a moment to fully look her over; she was no longer that toddler. She was a young adult who was going to be an amazing queen of this kingdom one day. He felt a swell of pride knowing she was his sister. Yachi wiped her tears and pulled him into a tight hug, “Don't worry, I want to see both you and Kiyoko off!” she exclaimed. “I wouldn't miss it! Goodnight, Koushi.” A look of pain crossed over her face, knowing this would be the last time she would get to say that. 

“Goodnight Yachi, sleep well. Don't stay up too late,” he scolded lightly as she ran off, likely to go and spend her last night with Kiyoko. He couldn't blame her. 

Next was Shouyou, who gave him a quick hug, and shouted his  _ Goodnight! _ , then ran off. He was more excited about this than anyone here. This was his time to shine and show off the fact that he could fend for himself and that he wasn't just a fragile prince. 

Koushi wanted to see how long he could stand being stepped over before he cracked. It would be fun to watch. 

Now he was left alone in his room with all his feelings. Since the announcement of his wedding he hadn't truly been left alone, he was too busy being swept away to make arrangements for a wedding he didn't even want to be a part of. 

Koushi had wanted all his life to go down in history. Maybe when he became king he would be a fearless leader and advisor through a war. Or maybe his accomplishments and achievements would just be that amazing. As a young and naive child, he had all these fantasies about what they would write about the Great King of North Karasuno.

Sure, combining two kingdoms that had been divided and at war for ages was an accomplishment, but Sugawara could not find any pride in this. His parents and new husband had arranged this  _ for _ him,  Koushi's role was to sit as a pretty sacrifice in place of his younger siblings and relinquish his crown . Most people would not even know about this part. 

People would just think of him as a mere pawn in the war. Maybe people would even assume that his parents had thought he was too weak to lead their kingdom and married him off.

Koushi brought his face to his hands and began to let out his sobs. Before now, he had needed to be strong for Shouyou and Yachi as their older brother, but now his walls were coming down  _ fast _ . His chest heaved and his throat ached the longer he went on, but he was unable to stop himself; everything was changing. 

Tomorrow, he would be married. 

Tomorrow, he would be married to a  _ stranger _ .

Tomorrow, he may never see his kingdom or family ever again.

Sugawara didn't even notice when the door to his room opened. He only looked up when he had felt a gentle hand pressed on his shoulder. There stood a tall woman with medium length black hair, grey eyes, and a sword resting on her hip. She closed her eyes,  softly affirming him to release his sorrows. She would wait by his side until he finished.

God, Koushi didn't think he deserved a knight– no, a friend, like Kiyoko sometimes. The two of them trusted each other fully, and Sugawara knew that no one would know about any of this. He had to be strong and be able to make sacrifices, in a world like this it was the only way to move up and get through things.

With tears still pouring down his face he sniffled loudly and tried to speak. “You… you don’t have to be here.” His voice cracked and caused him to cringe. This probably only proved further that Koushi needed Kiyoko more than ever. Never had he let himself be so vulnerable in front of someone. “Don’t you want to spend your last day here with Yachi… ?” 

Kiyoko’s lips curled into a frown, which was a big change from her normal, more neutral expression. “My prince, we both know I am here of my own will. I would never leave you in your time of need.” To the normal ear, it might’ve sounded insincere or formal, but Koushi knew that she meant every word. Kiyoko didn't lie to him and certainly never sugar-coated anything. “Besides I will go and see her later, I know for a fact she is not asleep yet. Not with what is happening tomorrow.” 

Ah right, yeah. Sugawara couldn't blame her for not being able to sleep tonight. He wasn't even sure if he could, though it would do him some good. These last few nights had been just as restless. 

“Is she okay? Did she look upset when she left?” he asked, his voice laced with nervousness. Maybe he shouldn’t have made her leave so soon? Even at the expense of himself, Yachi would always come first. 

“ _ Suga _ , please worry about yourself for once. She is not the one being married off tomorrow.” Kiyoko’s hand on his shoulder had more weight to it than before. “Stop being so selfless for one night and let yourself be upset.”

Koushi bit his lip. Kiyoko was right, he should be thinking of himself and stop caring so much for others. But what was he supposed to do? Just turn off his overprotective older brother’s senses? That had been impossible since a younger him had laid his eyes upon his darling younger sister swaddled in her crib almost eighteen years ago. This feeling only increased when his second sibling had been born. He vowed that they would always come before him the moment he’d met them. 

They _ were  _ the two most important people in his life.

“You and I both know I cannot do that Kiyoko.” He let out a weak, strained laugh and ran a hand through his hair. “Mom always says I’ll die from worry someday.”

“That would not surprise me in the slightest.” Kiyoko moved her hand to rub his back as she stood over his hovered body. “You’ll be alright though, I will not leave you until you feel comfortable enough.”

“Kiyoko that's ridiculous, you have a fiance–!” 

“I swore my loyalty to  _ you _ , my prince,” Kiyoko said firmly, bowing her head. “Your sister will understand, she insisted on this more than I did.” 

Of course, she did. Why was everyone else looking out for him now? Maybe after all these years, he deserved it. Not that he’d ever admit it out loud. He was too proud. 

“I can't argue too much then.” Koushi finally relented, tears were still dripping down his face, but he felt a lot more at peace knowing that Kiyoko would not be leaving his side. Though, he still fiddled with his hands and refused to make eye contact.

“Prince Koushi? Is there something else bothering you?” 

“Ah, well… yes? I’m just a bit nervous about tomorrow. Since… well, South Karasuno has kept to themselves… “ Sugawara trailed off. “I don't know anything about the new king, what if he just wants me to sit still and be his war trophy… ?” 

Kiyoko found herself chuckling. “I doubt you’ll let that happen, you’ve always been so stubborn when it comes to things like that.” 

She wasn't wrong. Koushi would probably die before he let himself just be someone's prize to be peacocked around. He was a skilled fighter and strategist. The prince had spent his past few years befriending crown princes from other kingdoms to strengthen their allies. Koushi could be a valuable asset, and maybe that is why he was so easily given away. His family  _ was _ proud of him but he had done all he could do here. Now he was useless.

The hand leaving his back tore him from these thoughts, it trailed up his neck and up to his cheek so Kiyoko could wipe the remaining tears from his cheeks. “You will be okay,” she said bluntly because he  _ would _ . That was just a fact. 

“I know that. Just as I said before… I'm just scared. Even as much as I can try and stand my ground, I don't know him and I don’t know what he's like… South Karasuno is so… quiet nowadays. All I know is his name.” 

Sawamura Daichi. 

Soon enough Koushi would be taking on that name and starting a life with him. Whatever life he would be allowed to have. It felt so frustrating knowing he was no longer in charge of his destiny. This was not his kingdom he was marrying into. 

“You don’t need to be afraid when I’m here, I would not let him walk all over you. You may be my responsibility but I report directly to the Queen and with another prince there, it would be an idiotic move to actively oppress you,” Kiyoko offered, though it was clear she was struggling to find the words to comfort him.

“... what happens when you leave. Then I can't do anything about it.” Koushi continued to twiddle his fingers together. 

Kiyoko smiled for the first time that evening, “Because while I’m there they will see what you can do and once they have seen that there is no way they won’t need you.” She gave his eyes one last swipe before stepping away. “Now you are being a bit hypocritical, my prince. Telling your siblings to go to bed when you will be the center of attention tomorrow. You need to sleep more than anyone.”

Koushi knew she was right, of course, she was. Nine times out of ten Kiyoko knew what was best for everyone around her. Silently he stood from his seat by the window and longingly stared at the night sky. This would be his last time ever taking in the stars right here and it panged his heart with grief.

This would be his last night in his room. 

That was something he had not thought of yet. 

He blew out the candle that rested on the table beside him, “Yes you’re right. I’ll see you in the morning.” Suga turned to Kiyoko, who bowed and exited the room. 

Koushi laid in his bed staring at the ceiling as tears dripped down the sides of his face, soaking into his pillow. This was it. With a deep sigh, he closed his eyes and tried to shift his focus elsewhere. It wasn't like there was anything he could do to prevent it. Another long and restless night awaited him. 

  
  


\--

The next morning had started with a breakfast that was far too grand for Koushi’s almost nonexistent appetite. He was far too nervous to eat but tried to be respectful for the sake of his own family that sat around him. From the looks of it, Shouyou had no problem eating all his food and Suga found himself almost laughing at how Kageyama, his brother's knight, hovered at his side to make sure he didn't choke. Yachi had a hand pressed over her mouth, which did nothing to stifle her laughter.

“You’re a stupid prince, you know that!”

“Shut up! Koushi make him stop! Kageyama you’re a knight, you can't talk to me like that!”

“I’m sorry but… he isn’t wrong.”

“Koushi!”

  
  


Soon enough he had fallen back into a semblance of normality, even forgetting his previous worries, that is until he had felt a cold hand on his shoulder. 

“My prince, if you are done eating we should get you ready to go.” 

Those words made his blood run cold, his siblings looking away from each other to glare at the maid that stood behind their brother. He offered them a kind smile, standing up and pushing his chair in behind him. 

“Don’t worry, you’ll be able to wish me off. Alright?”He gave an anxious smile, hoping it would slightly quell their concern. “Finish your breakfast.” With that, he turned on his heel and sluggishly followed her.

He couldn’t look at any of them, it was too painful to see their faces any longer. All Koushi could tell himself was that he would  _ not  _ cry. If he ended up crying then everyone would only worry more and he absolutely could not let that happen. 

He let himself be escorted into his room so he could be dressed and prepared for his wedding.

\--

Hinata had never been so nervous in his entire life. Starting today he would no longer be looked at as if he was a prince made of glass! No, he was now fully a knight. The armor was weird… but it was a nice change. Okay, so  _ technically _ he wasn’t a knight just yet, but that didn’t matter! His parents were letting  _ him _ escort his brother to his new kingdom and that was  _ basically _ the same thing. 

And nothing could really stop him from telling people he was a knight. 

Walking along the top of the stone wall around the castle garden, Hinata held his hands up high above his head, as if he didn’t have a care in the world. But Kageyama was aware that his prince was just putting on a mask - today, everything would change for them. His family would no longer be whole, a huge piece would be missing. 

“Ha! I’m no longer your prince!” he pointed his finger in Kageyama’s direction. “From now on we’ll be on equal grounds!” Hinata jumped down from the wall he was walking on, the weight of his new armor causing him to fall onto his face. 

Kageyama simply leaned down, offering a hand to his prince. “No, I think you’re still a prince to me.”

Hinata puffed out his cheeks, swatting away his hand. Despite how he liked to come off he was still just a young and spoiled prince. Long ago Kageyama had hated being assigned to the youngest prince. How he would cry at the smallest cuts and bruises, need his brother to tuck him into bed when he’d wake up at night, and of course run away and throw the whole knight battalion to fall into absolute chaos. 

Now, he couldn’t see himself not being devoted to him. If Kageyama had been questioned about his loyalty, it would not be to the kingdom of North Karasuno, it would be to the second prince, Shouyou. It was a scary thought, but if Shouyou ever wanted to leave Kageyama would not hesitate to leave with him... and travel with him until the ends of the earth. 

“I don’t want your help! I’m a knight now!”

Oh, how much his young prince had grown. 

“Alright, but if you get yourself all dirty on the ground then you can’t come to the wedding. Remember what your brother said!” Kageyama pulled his arms away and only crossed them, mumbling something under his breath.

“Hey! What did you say about me!?” In his anger, Shouyou had sprung upon his feet once again. 

“I  _ said _ that I shouldn’t have let your dumbass outside! You already complained the entire time getting ready. The maids will quit on the spot if they have to deal with you again!” Kageyama yelled back, his face going red. “And stop saying you’re a knight! This is merely training, you would get yourself killed if they actually let you fight.” 

“No! Yesterday I almost beat Koushi in sword fighting! I really did but then he was like  _ woosh _ and I was like  _ AHHH _ !” As he spoke his hands zoomed around nonsensically, “-I could kick your butt and you know it!” 

Sometimes Kageyama seemed to be less of a knight and more of a  _ nanny _ . 

  
  


\--

Koushi glared at his reflection, unable to recognize the man that stared back in dismay. He only found familiarity in his eyes, though they were saddened… sunken with defeat. Koushi had never minded the stuffy garments his mothers and maids had always forced him into but now he felt suffocated, snuffed out. Slowly, he reached up to the top of his head, tapping the small golden crown sitting on his silvery hair. It had been given to him from before he could remember, a gift from the church. 

The crown was made to bless the future king. It seemed almost a dastardly taunt to be wearing it on such a day. 

His siblings had similar objects, all enchanted, and blessed jewelry. They offered protection if anything were to happen. An emerald bracelet for the first princess and a ruby necklace for the second prince. 

A figure appeared in his doorway, his political advisor Ennoshita. Someone who had guided him as the future king. “My prince, you need to leave soon. The wedding is of utmost importance if we are late it’ll reflect badly on our-” 

He respected him but he was not in the mood to be bossed around today.

“How long do we have?” 

“We need to be leaving in the next half hour, your brother is already being escorted to-”

“Go fetch my sister,” Koushi said coldly, not looking away from his reflection. The swift shuffling of footsteps from the servants only served to further emphasize the state of his temper. Today was not how he wanted his wedding morning to be. 

Right now he only wanted the comfort of his family.

His hand moved from his crown down to his face, gloved hands trailing the curve of his rosy cheeks. Everything about him  felt surreal, in the worst way possible, as if this skin was a disturbing, perfect counterfeit of himself. He was just trapped in this shell, as much as he tried to resist it. He thought back to the beginning of all this.

  
  


_ “Koushi! You can't!” His sister had cried, forcing him to put a hand over her mouth to keep her from being heard.  _

_ “Shhh! You don’t want Shouyou to hear you!”  _

_ ”But… he’s going to find out anyway. You can't hide a marriage from him.” She looked down at her feet, awkwardly pressing them together. If he looked closely enough he could see the small tremble of her lips.  _

_ Koushi sighed, he hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings like this. “Yachi… I’m sorry. I didn’t want either of you to find out. Not until I could figure a way out of it.” _

_ “What if you can't!” _

_ “Hey,” His voice was much softer, tucking her hair behind her ear, “I will, but in the off chance I can’t you have to promise me you’ll take good care of the kingdom. I’ll leave it to you.”  _ __  
  


_ “No… I couldn’t possibly..”  _

_ “You'll have Kiyoko, she has a good head on her. She would make an amazing queen.” He smiled sadly at her. “Besides, this won’t happen. The church wouldn’t allow me to marry a man I don’t know, king or not.”  _

What a complete fool he had been, rage had filled him and he could only see red. Just as he was about to swing his gloved hand through his reflection, he felt light weight on his shoulder. Looking up to see who had dared to interrupt him, he saw blonde hair. 

Yachi. 

Taking a deep breath he turned around. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

She offered him a kind smile, her hand never leaving his shoulder. “You have every right to be upset, but don’t take it out on your mirror. I don’t want you to hurt yourself, or get blood on your gloves.” 

In true honesty, Koushi didn’t care about them… but he supposed she was right. It would be a waste of perfectly good white gloves. They were the same ones his mother had worn at her wedding, the only difference being that she had gotten married for love. A rarity nowadays, Koushi really should have seen this coming. 

“Right… I called you in here for a reason.” He sighed before carefully taking off his crown, placing it on top of her blonde hair. Yachi gasped and looked at him with wide eyes as if she couldn’t believe what was happening. Then a look of understanding crossed her face and she removed her bracelet, taking his hand gently and latching it around his wrist. 

This was a silent goodbye. There were only so many things he could say to her, to provide her comfort, but no matter what he said they would fall short. Actions spoke louder than words.

He pulled her in for a hug, burying his face in her hair. Koushi hoped and prayed she would not cry, his heart wouldn’t be able to take that. Today he had made a promise to himself that he would not cry. He kept her in the tight hug until his door opened once again. 

“My prince,  _ princess _ , I am sorry to interrupt but we really must be going.”

When he looked down at his sister, he no longer saw the little girl who used to cry at the smallest inconvenience. Instead, he saw a young woman who would be a strong ruler when the day came. Koushi smiled proudly, pressing a kiss to her forehead. 

“Right, of course. I’m coming.” Walking out the door, Koushi sealed his fate. 

\--

The wedding took place in the church Koushi had grown up in. In his kingdom, if you had an important decision to make, going to the priest was like second nature. They would never direct you on the wrong path in life, it was their job to guide the rulers of North Karasuno. 

Koushi found himself wondering as he walked down the aisle, his long blue cape trailing behind him, how they had let this decision go through. When he tried to bring this up, even to his sibling, he was hushed and told that questioning the church’s judgment was foolish. He didn’t want to get himself exiled. 

_ Maybe that would have been better _ _ ,  _ he thought as he looked at the man he would inevitably spend the rest of his days with in the eyes. Koushi had to admit he was quite handsome. He didn’t feel any ill intent coming from the man, this was just the tragic tale of two men doing what they can to save their kingdoms. 

As the priest began, they took the hands of each other. Two men stood in front of an altar, and as they exchanged their vows their gloved hands never truly touched. 

“I do.”


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a conversation spoken by two married strangers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys im really sorry for the late update! my original plan was that I am going to stick with to the best of my ability is one update a month. I ended up injuring my hand last month so I was unable to update, but the healing process has made it so I can write again.

The kingdom of North Karasuno ruled alongside the best interest of the church. If anyone in the royal family needed advice, it was second nature for them to go and seek it from the priests or pray to the gods. That’s how Shouyou found himself praying at the altar the week before his brother’s wedding. It was too late now to seek advice but the act had always helped him clear his mind. He swore it must have been a mistake that the church would let something like this happen, but the church had never made a mistake before. Though, he doubted that even if they did, no one would dare to mutter a protest against it. That was the thing… the church _couldn't_ make a mistake. Because of this, Shouyou could never doubt the church, but this seemed unlike anything they had ever done before. The priests had always made keeping the royal family confined to the castle or the church their top priority, emphasizing the immense danger outside the castle walls during these unpredictable times. When members of the royal family were allowed to leave, it was usually his parents for political meetings, escorted by guarded carriages. This was the place he had been born to the royal family in, the place where he felt safe along with his siblings. Their country was doing fine in the war, right? They didn’t _need_ to arrange a marriage between the two kingdoms. 

_Right?_

The harsh reality of his status as the second prince was that he was never informed of any politics, especially war-related news. _“Those are things you need not fret about, especially if you are to serve as a knight in these next few years. Focus on your training,”_ he had been told, always brushed off as a prying, naive child. Even his own brother would disregard him at times, but Shouyou could tell it was supposed to be for his own good. Even if, personally, he thought he didn't need to be babied. Kageyama always told him everything that he knew, but he only knew so much information as a personal knight. Unfortunately, a personal knight had no need for geopolitical news, his job was to simply keep his prince safe. Shouyou hated not being told anything. He didn’t want to be sheltered from the events happening in his _own_ kingdom. Were his people safe?

Whoever said ignorance was bliss clearly never thought of his situation.

“May the gods bless our priests with wisdom...” He pressed his eyes closed, clasping his hands together, “... so they may guide our soldiers to bring us victory in these upcoming battles, to keep the kingdom safe.” In times like these, he felt that praying was all he could do, the more questions he asked, the more he was ignored, the more he felt like he was just an annoying nuisance. 

Though, Shouyou had heard the news about the deaths of the King, Queen, and heir princess of their neighboring kingdom years ago. The only survivor left of the royal family was the youngest child. No one in Shouyou’s family had much to say about it, horrible things like that happened more often than Shouyou was made aware of. He felt bitter disappointment for the shameful, jaded lack of empathy his family had for the late monarchs of South Karasuno. He understood that they had not been allied with them, but the war had been hundreds of years ago, and despite their unfriendly relations, they were _still_ people. His discontent at his parents’ reaction and irrational fears amalgamated into ugly apprehensions for the future. 

What if this happened to his own family?

Anxiety plagued him in the weeks following these events, especially as the tensions between the kingdoms had risen. While he wasn't extremely close with his parents, Shouyou deeply cared for his older siblings. He couldn’t bear the thought of similar tragedies befalling his family. 

“A-and… please keep my family safe. Even if it means that the wedding has to happen, I just want them to be safe, no matter what you must do.” Shouyou regretted saying such things, but couldn’t stop thinking about it in circles. This wedding _must_ have been a gift from the gods if even the priests were going along with it. These were two kingdoms bitterly divided in a petty war that was long past: these things didn’t just happen out of nowhere. 

Maybe his prayers for a harmonious end to the feud between their nations from those days long before had been answered…? That made Shouyou feel sick to his stomach, the thought that he had a part in this, the thought that he _contributed_ to this. Koushi would never forgive him, and he didn’t feel like he deserved to be forgiven for such things. 

Was it really his fault if he just wanted everyone to be safe? 

“Hey, you stupid prince! Are you in here?!’

Shouyou was wrenched from his thoughts, compelled to whip his head around to see who had called out for him. Although he was well aware of the only person who would dare speak like this in the chapel the moment the insult resounded between the pews. He hastily wiped his tears and brought himself up from his knees just as the knight had made his way down the aisle. 

“Sorry, I was just prayi-” he stopped himself upon seeing what a disheveled mess his knight looked like. What happened? He swore he had only gone off for a moment. “Are you alright?”

“You can’t be running off like that! What are you? A dumbass? Everyone is looking for you… and you weren’t in your spot. Anything could have happened to you!”

Oh. He definitely should have told Kageyama. 

“I’m sorry, next time I go off I promise I’ll tell you where I’m going.” Shouyou placed a hand on the distressed knight’s shoulder, thankful that the dim lights of the empty chapel hid the increasing ruddiness of his cheeks.

“You better! Now come on, they were about to send the search parties for you.” His hand was unceremoniously removed and roughly taken ahold of. Kageyama quickly shifted to conceal his face from his prince as he went to drag him back to the castle, grumbling under his breath. 

“Woah, you shouldn’t speak that way in the church! The gods are listening,” Shouyou teased, though there was some truth laced in his playful jab. He would never make such crude remarks in a holy place like this. 

Despite this, Kageyama really couldn’t seem to care less. Were the gods really going to chastise him for cursing in the church? There were definitely worse people to punish right now. “ _Good_ , they need to know what a dumbass they allowed into the royal family.”

“Hey! I was just praying! You know that’s expected of us, and I’ve really been slacking! You know, I haven’t seen _you_ praying lately!” 

He spared one last desperate glance to the altar, hoping that his prayer tonight would help his brother in any way possible. 

  
  


One week later, Shouyou looked at the same altar, forced to stand to the side, and watch his brother make his vow to a painfully loveless arrangement. For all he knew, Koushi did not love this man. It angered him to helplessly watch his strong and passionate older brother be reduced to a pretty bargaining chip in an offensively meaningless war.

As his body started to feel light and he had to point his feet to keep them on the ground, Shouyou felt a warm leather-gloved hand take hold of his own. This time it wasn’t rough, but comforting. He felt his boiling anger cool to a simmer, relieved that he was not alone during this; that he would always have Kageyama by his side no matter what. As a child, his mother had told him that when a single touch reminded you of home, you had found your soulmate. 

How ironic that he had found this person at his brother’s bitterly arranged wedding. 

  
  
  


* * *

In Daichi’s entire life, he had never experienced a carriage ride that felt so suffocatingly lonely. He tapped his finger on the wooden side of the carriage, doing his best to keep himself entertained as it seemed as if the stranger, er- his husband, that sat across from him, was not in the mood for casual chit-chat. Not that he could be blamed for that. From his perspective, Daichi was the cruel force that ripped him from his kingdom against his will. 

But he didn’t have a choice. Neither of their kingdoms did. In the end, the two of them were just souls that were unfortunate enough to be born into this. 

Despite sitting just across from each other, Daichi felt as if the distance was completely untraversable. What can you even say to a man you’ve just met that you’re supposedly meant to spend the rest of your life with? The two of them knew that their entire marriage is forged upon political gain, so what is there to say? No amount of etiquette classes that he had been forced through as a child, nor the countless social gatherings he suffered through as a teenager, could have properly prepared him for initiating a conversation between two married strangers. 

Sugawara Koushi was beautiful, he would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that. Something about him seemed… far away. The way he gazed so absentmindedly out the window. No, absentmindedly wasn’t the word for it, he was completely lost in _thought_. He wasn’t expecting a prince who thought. Daichi took note of how he mindlessly fiddled with the gloves that covered limber fingers, only now realizing how much he itched under his own pair. 

“I do hope the carriage is to your liking.” The words felt forced from his own mouth, awkwardly tumbling out into their shared space, as he tried to recall his mother's advice from all those years ago. When being married seemed like such a distant, far away thing. Everything would be better if it pleased his husband. “If not I’m sure we can take another one for our next outing.” 

Koushi seemed slightly startled, finally redirecting his eyes to meet Daichi’s. “No, everything’s fine. Thank you.” The man in front of him seemed so distant when he spoke, as if he wasn't truly present, his true self left behind at the altar where they exchanged vows. 

“If you have any requests, I will see it through that they are fulfilled. Your comfort is of my utmost concern.” No matter how painfully strained he sounded, Daichi intended to keep good relations with his new husband, despite the distance the ladder had wedged between them. 

Not looking away from their locked eyes Koushi spoke, “I thank you for your concerns, but shouldn't the war be your biggest concern at the moment? If you think I will be writing a letter to my parents at every frivolous inconvenience, then you have clearly misjudged my character. Did I not marry you for the sake of my own kingdom? I am _not_ selfish enough to ruin this.” He spoke clearly, as if he had been steeling himself for this exact confrontation the entire carriage ride. Maybe he had been? It wasn't uncommon for royal consorts to act exactly the way Koushi had described. 

Daichi was stunned, he _clearly_ hadn't done enough research on the man he had been marrying. Maybe later in his study he should request some more documents on him. “I… I’m sorry if I offended you, that was not my intention.” 

Wiping all animosity from his countenance without missing a beat, Koushi straightened his form and neatly folded his hands into his lap. “No, don’t worry about it. I just needed you to understand that I meant what I said.” He narrowed his eyes at his husband. “And I did mean every word, do _not_ forget that I am capable.”

And with that, the conversation was over, the rest of the carriage ride remained an icy silence, only the clopping of horse hooves and grating of wheels on uneven gravel daring to break the quiet. Koushi’s calm, yet biting words echoed in Daichi’s head. Oh how he vastly underestimated the man he married. 

* * *

Shouyou rode a mount alongside the carriage that his brother was in, despite offers to ride with him. Of course he had declined, he was not escorting his brother as a _prince_ , but a knight. The only thing he hadn't planned for was how absolutely awful he was at actually riding a horse. His hands gripped the reins until his knuckles had turned white, riding gloves clammy, his face pale with nauseousness. The path they were traveling had way too many twists, turns, and bumps for his liking.

“Aren't you a prince?” A harsh whisper came from Kageyama, who was riding beside him. “You’ve been taking horse riding lessons since you were _ten._ ”

Shouyou couldn't take his eyes away from the road ahead for long enough to look over, but he could feel Kageyama’s scowl burning into him, which was a lot different from their last interaction, a comforting hand in his time of distress. “Well if you’re so good at it, why don't you just leave so you don't have to _babysit_ me?!” He yelped at another turn. God, he was really going to _die_ on his very first mission as a knight— he wouldn't have begged to come if he knew how long of a horse ride to South Karasuno would be. 

With a sigh, Kageyama pulled on his own reins, slowing his horse down to match Shouyou’s pace. “I can't just leave you, dumbass. Just because you think you’re going on this journey all alone doesn't mean you’re not still a… _prince._ ” he whispered the last part in case anyone happened to be listening to them. “Your safety is still my responsibility.”

“Well that’s dumb, a knight doesn’t need a _nanny_. What are you, my mom?” Shouyou let out a small, angry huff, causing him to almost slide off his horse in the process. 

In return, he got a deadpanned, “Yes.” 

“Hey hey hey! What's the hold up here?!” A loud and booming voice thundered from the front of the carriage. Slowly but surely, a knight with wild spiked black and white hair came into view. The man was large, his broad chest puffed with pride, his build stockier than anyone’s Shouyou had ever seen. The knights in his home kingdom were _fit_ but never this fit. He didn't even realize he was being yelled at, completely enchanted by how _cool_ this man looked. 

“Apologies for the hold up, sir!” Kageyama barked out beside him. Shouyou couldn't help but laugh. The millions of times he had to respond in the same manner when he was being scolded by their nannies or maids, this was just a delicious taste of payback. 

“And why are you laughing, it looks as if you’re the reason for the hold up. You two are from North Karasuno, right? What’re your names?” 

The tone of the man’s voice sure shut him up real quick.

“Kageyama Tobio, sir.” Kageyama said without hesitation, realizing the status this man held from his effortless, naturally commanding tone. 

“Kageyama…. Huh.” The man looked in thought for a moment before directing his attention to Shouyou. “And you? Aren't you a little young to be a knight?”

“My name is Hinata Shouyou sir, and no sir! This is my first mission as a knight, I just completed all my classes and training!” He exclaimed, ignoring the exasperated sigh from Kageyama beside him. Maybe he would enjoy himself more if he stopped being so tight-assed all the time— who _cared_ if he lied about his last name? Exposing himself as part of the royal family would just ruin all the fun. 

Instead of being scolded, he earned a loud laugh from the large man. “I’m Bokuto Koutarou, head knight around these parts! I wonder why they’d send a new knight to escort their prince in the middle of a war? Ah well. Anyways, just stay behind me and I’ll make sure you get to the kingdom in one piece. You both better hurry though, the King’s safety is the most important thing right now.”

Kageyama watched as Shouyou, or well… Hinata now, followed the man up ahead. As glad as he was that the troublesome prince was finally out of his hands, he felt a sting in his heart as the prince rode away. There were better people for him to look up to, Kageyama would always be crammed to the bottom as Shouyou flourished. They could never be truly seen as equals. 

  
  


* * *

Koushi had gotten so lost in his thoughts during the carriage ride that he didn't even realize they had arrived until a hand nudged his shoulder. With bleary eyes, he looked up at his new husband. “Wha-”.

Oh, the carriage had stopped. The pit of butterflies in his stomach that had finally stilled were starting to flutter around again, a feeling of dread setting in. He was absolutely _not_ ready to settle into what would be his new home. For a moment, he didn't even see what was held out to him as he descended the steps.

Daichi was offering him a gloved hand.

Should he take it? It would be rude if he didn’t, so he reached out his own. 

“Thank you.” He bowed his head politely as he stepped down from the carriage, still not letting go. Harsh, judging eyes seemed to be glued to them, scrutinizing every little movement. Taking a deep breath, he reminded himself that this was for the sake of his kingdom, his people, his family. If this marriage meant less lives would be lost, that his family could escape the cruel hands of the war, then he would bite his cheek and do any task that was thrown his way. 

But that didn't mean he would accept the unspoken invitation to sit pretty with open arms while his people suffered. Koushi was not a fit soldier, in any way, but his status had allowed him to do more than just neatly sit with his hands clasped. He wouldn’t hand over that power so easily. 

“Of course, dear.” His husband responded, his voice sickly sweet. The mask he donned for the public was so unbelievably fragile that Sugawara was worried it may just shatter to the floor with one wrong breath. 

Hand in hand, they walked across the bridge connecting the village to the castle. Soon, they would be able to escape the unrelenting stares of the people. If they didn't believe in this marriage at all, nothing good could come of it. He wasn't sure if their armies could handle any more decreases in morale, nor could their people. Times were already hard, finding trade routes to provide food for the commonwealth had been stressing his parents out, and Koushi couldn't imagine it was any better around here. 

Upon finding Kiyoko positioned at his side once again, he glanced around for a second, searching for his brother’s bright orange blotch of hair, spotting him excitedly chattering to another man. Shouyou seemed to be enjoying the conversation, wildly gesturing with his hands. It was odd to see him without Kageyama at his side, but Koushi was grateful that he already seemed to be familiarizing himself with the people here. Again, as long as his family was happy, he would do everything in his power to keep it that way. 

Eventually the large doors at the front of the castle were opened, revealing lush carpet that lined the long maze of halls. He made note of how similar it was to his own, yet something about it wasn't the same. When he looked around, he couldn’t evoke memories of him and his siblings sprinting through memorized sharp turns and complicated paths down sprawling halls, gleefully giggling as they pursued each other in simple cat and mouse games. He had left behind those memories of them following saccharine scents of fresh pastries, sneaking into the kitchen to steal desserts before dinner. The familiar fragrant perfume that he had grown so fond of, that magically pervaded every little room he had explored, was a long, long carriage ride away. The walls and carpet and windows all seemed the same, but they were stripped bare of any warm memories he held dear. This place was empty, hollow, cold. This place could never be home to him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the art that accompanies this chapter is by the lovely @appllelle


End file.
